


I'll Be Your Robin

by mikkimouse



Series: Tumblr Fics [21]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, YouTuber Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:04:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikkimouse/pseuds/mikkimouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You're sitting in my background!" Stiles waved behind him. "Can't you just scoot to the left by, like, two feet? Or go to the library until I'm done?" </p>
<p>Derek scowled, and really, that angry look shouldn't turn Stiles on as much as it pisses him off. "I don't have room to scoot two feet to the left. And the last time I left the room while you were recording, I ended up getting stuck outside until <em>midnight</em>." </p>
<p>"I had to do multiple takes!" </p>
<p>Derek's scowl didn't lift. "You <em>yelled at me</em> when I came in here to go to bed."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Be Your Robin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vendelin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vendelin/gifts).
  * Translation into Polski available: [Będę twoim (ulubionym) Robinem](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6461785) by [Pomyluna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomyluna/pseuds/Pomyluna)



> A very very late birthday fic for the lovely, incomparable, wonderful [ljummen](http://ljummen.tumblr.com). I hope you enjoy this silly story, and may you have a lovely weekend, m’dear.
> 
> Thanks to [deleted-scenes](http://deleted-scenes.tumblr.com), [infectiouspunk](http://infectiouspunk.tumblr.com), and [bleep0bleep](http://bleep0bleep.tumblr.com) for the beta and the brainstorming. Y’all are the best. <3

Stiles yanked his headphones off and glared at his roommate. "Dude, do you _mind?_ " 

Derek looked up from his book, blinking owlishly behind his glasses, dark eyebrows knit in confusion. 

"You're sitting in my background!" Stiles waved behind him. "Can't you just scoot to the left by, like, two feet? Or go to the library until I'm done?" 

Derek scowled, and really, that angry look shouldn't turn Stiles on as much as it pisses him off. "I don't have room to scoot two feet to the left. And the last time I left the room while you were recording, I ended up getting stuck outside until _midnight_." 

"I had to do multiple takes!" 

Derek's scowl didn't lift. "You _yelled at me_ when I came in here to go to bed."

"You were banging around and wrecking my audio!" Stiles gestured to his computer. He loved his laptop, but it wasn't exactly an ideal setup for video production. "It's not like I have a bunch of mics I can use."

Derek rolled his eyes and went back to his book. "I'm not leaving. I've got to study. It's not like anyone will even notice me."

"I will," Stiles grumbled, but Derek already had his highlighter out and his own headphones back in. 

So much for getting privacy while he was recording his videos. Stiles wanted to _kick_ something. 

He and Derek had formed their animosity during summer orientation, and it had only grown sharper when they'd come back for the actual semester in August and found out they were _roommates_. It was the worst, and Stiles hated it. It didn't help that Derek was probably the most attractive guy Stiles had ever seen, with broad shoulders and washboard abs and a full freaking beard. What 18-year-old even _had_ a full beard?

He was also an _asshole_ , at least as much of an asshole as Stiles was, which only served to _further_ Stiles's attraction. Apparently bitchy hot people were his type and had been since Lydia Martin in elementary school. 

The entire situation left Stiles in an angry, frustrated, and horny limbo that couldn't be cured no matter how many times he snuck off to jack off in the showers. He was reasonably sure their RA's warning about it screwing up the plumbing had been about 60% directed at him. 

He turned his webcam back on and shoved his headphones back on his head, and then tested his audio a few times before he started recording. "So hey guys! As you might have noticed, my location has changed. I'm officially a freshman at Berkeley, and I'm getting the full college experience complete with roommate." He gestured at Derek's back. "That's him. He refuses to leave while I'm recording, so you all will probably be seeing a lot more of him." 

On his monitor, Derek flipped him off without ever taking his eyes off his book. 

Stiles rolled his eyes. "And _that,_ my friends, is what I'll be dealing with all semester. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

***

Stiles finished up his video, edited it, and uploaded it all before he had to run to meet Scott for dinner. He'd started doing video reviews of superhero movies while he was in high school, and while he wasn't a _huge_ YouTuber by any stretch of the imagination, he had a respectable following and he wanted to keep it up while he was in college. With his class schedule, he was pretty sure he'd be able to do even more than he'd been doing in high school.

He'd tried to crop the video to cut Derek out, but it hadn't come even close to working. After messing with it for an hour, he'd finally given up and just thrown the thing up on YouTube. Whatever. People could just get used to his asshole roommate making a background appearance.

***

He got back to his dorm room at the _perfectly reasonable_ hour of 11 p.m., but Derek still glared judgmentally from his bed, where he was reading. Shirtless. With reading glasses. 

It was _cute_. God, Stiles hated him. 

He steadfastly ignored Derek and went to dick off on his computer for another couple of hours, which included checking up on his video, because he needed validation in his life. 

Stiles blinked at the number of views. Surely that couldn't be right. 

But it was. Somehow his first video at college had more views in the first five hours than most of his videos got in the first two _days_. 

Holy shit. Who knew moving to Berkeley would be such a good thing for his vlog? 

He scanned the comments to see if he could glean just _why_ he was suddenly so popular. Even with all the views, he didn't have that many more comments, so it was very easy to see that people apparently thought his roommate was _hilarious._

Stiles scowled. Derek hadn't even done anything but flip them off, and they were eating it up. 

It was ridiculous. It had to be a one-time thing. Had to.

***

It was not a one-time thing. 

The best time for Stiles to record, he found, was Friday mornings. He didn't have class until two, and most of the floor was quiet before noon, people either out at class or sleeping off Thursday night. 

Unfortunately, Derek didn't have class either. 

That meant Derek was in the background every time Stiles recorded, moving through the room to get ready before he sat at his desk to study with his stupid _glasses_ and his stupid soft _hair_. He just sat there at his desk, highlighting, paying absolutely no attention to Stiles and doing nothing more interesting than pressing his highlighter to his bottom lip. 

Not that Stiles was paying attention. His viewers, however, _were_.

His hits were going up, which was _awesome_ , but a lot of the comments were just about how "fucking hot" his roommate was and asking if Stiles was going to tap that. Stiles ignored all of those, but it still brought home the point that Derek was the best thing—aesthetically, at least—to happen to his videos in a long time. 

After the third video in a row where this happened, Stiles sat back and chewed furiously on his soda straw. He didn't _really_ want to share the spotlight, but if his viewers liked Derek so much, what would the response be if Derek was _actually_ involved with the videos? 

"Would you stop that?" Derek snapped. 

Stiles flailed around from his computer and only by the grace of God kept himself and his cup upright. "What? I'm not doing anything!" 

"That," Derek waved at him with a glare, " _chewing_. It's annoying."

Stiles stuck out his tongue and set his drink on the counter. "Well, I'm so sorry to _annoy_ your majesty." 

Derek rolled his eyes. "Just...drink a little more quietly. I'm trying to study." 

"You're always studying," Stiles complained.

"Wow. It's almost like I came to college to go to school," Derek said dryly. 

Stiles internally cursed. He was about to ask Derek a _favor_ ; he probably shouldn't antagonize him. He rolled his chair across the floor until he was closer to Derek's desk. "So, Derek." 

Derek grunted and highlighted another paragraph in his book. 

Stiles schooled his features into something he hoped was persuasive. "How would you like to be a more active participant in my videos?" 

Derek raised his head from his book, his expression flat. Well, at least he was looking at Stiles now.

Stiles smiled encouragingly. "My viewers like you." 

Those dark eyebrows bent down. Possibly angrily. "I don't _do_ anything," Derek pointed out.

"I know!" Stiles spread his hands. "Could you imagine their reaction if you did?" 

Derek went back to his textbook. "No." 

"Oh, come on!" Stiles wheedled. "You just have to sit there and glare and tell me I'm stupid. Those are at least two of your top five favorite activities."

Derek didn't even twitch. "No." 

"You don't even have to sit next to me! Just make faces behind my back or something." Stiles waved at his computer. "The camera will pick it up." 

"No." 

Okay. It was time to break out the big guns. Stiles clasped his hands under his chin and gave Derek the biggest puppy-dog eyes he could. "Please? Please please pretty please with sugar on top?" 

Derek's lips thinned. "I said _no_ , Stiles." 

Stiles groaned and sagged back in his chair. Asking nicely hadn't worked. Nor had begging. That pretty much left bribery. 

He sat back up. "I could make it worth your while."

Derek didn't look up from his book, but his eyes did flick in Stiles's direction. "My going rate is a hundred dollars an hour." 

Stiles choked at both the amount and the implications. "Come on, man, I can't afford that. How about I cook for a month?" 

Derek rolled his eyes. "With what? All we have is a microwave." 

"Hey, you would be surprised what I can make with a microwave," Stiles argued. 

" _No_."

"Okay, fine, I'll clean the room for a month." 

Derek actually rolled his entire _head_ that time. "I'll believe it when I see you clean _your_ half of the room for a month." 

Stiles groaned again. "Come on, man, give me something to work with. You help me with my video, and I...do what for you?" 

Derek tapped his highlighter on his paper. "My car." 

Stiles frowned. "Your car?" 

"Wash my car." Derek turned to him. "And vacuum it. For a month." 

Stiles's jaw dropped. "You want me to wash your _Camaro?_ "

Derek shrugged. "That's my price. Take it or leave it."

Hell yes, he would take it, but there was no reason for Derek to know that. "Four videos, one for each week that I'll be cleaning your car." 

"One video." 

"Three." 

Derek's eyes narrowed. "Two."

Two. Stiles could work with two. He held out his hand. "Done." 

Derek shook his hand. "If you do a half-assed job on my car, the deal's off." 

"What, you think I can't handle a squeegee and a sponge?" Stiles asked, offended. 

Derek looked at him in horror and then turned back to his books. "Please don't make me regret this." 

"Psh." Stiles scooted back over to his desk. "You'll regret nothing."

***

Two days later, Stiles was reasonably sure _Derek_ wasn't going to regret anything, but _he_ sure as hell was starting to. 

He'd decided that they should just keep it as easy as possible. Derek's lips had pinched like he'd swallowed a lemon when Stiles suggested they sit down together to record, so they were going with another suggested option: Derek in the background, speaking up whenever he disagreed with something Stiles said. 

Of course, that particular course of action required Derek to be _in_ the room in the first place, and he still hadn't gotten back from his morning run. 

Stiles looked at the time and groaned. If he didn't get started soon, he might not finish recording before he needed to get to class. 

He'd just said "screw it" and brought up his recording software when their dorm room door swung open and Derek sauntered in, shower stuff in one hand and the other holding up his towel. 

His towel, which was the _only thing he was wearing_. 

Stiles was pretty sure his heart actually stopped. "Oh my God." 

Derek frowned. "What?" 

"I can't record you like," Stiles waved his hands because _holy God Derek was naked_ , "that!" 

Derek snorted. "Never took you for a prude." 

Stiles sputtered and hoped Derek couldn't see his blush. "I am _not_ —look, you want to show your naked ass to everyone on YouTube, be my guest." 

Derek rolled his eyes. "Relax. I'll change over here and I won't come within range of your precious camera until I'm decent." 

Stiles's heart started beating again, which he only knew because it was pounding like a bass drum. The camera might not see Derek totally naked, but Stiles would. He'd seen Derek shirtless, yes, but not naked. So far he'd managed to avoid _that_ particular aspect of roommate life. And he'd hoped to continue, because his frustrated jack-off sessions really didn't need any more help. 

"Stiles? You okay?" 

"Yeah!" Stiles said, too quick and probably a little too high. "I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay? Hurry up and change." 

Derek snorted, but at least he turned around and opened his closet door wide enough that Stiles's view was blocked. 

Thank God. That would make concentrating a little easier. 

Stiles did his mic check and bumped up the volume a bit to make sure he could hear Derek as well, and then started recording. 

He sat up in his chair and twirled a pencil between his fingers. "So I don't know about you guys, but I'm totally stoked about the new Batman trailer we got this week. If you've been watching my videos for any length of time, you know that Batman's my favorite superhero, and this new movie looks absolutely fucking _awesome_. Not to mention we're _finally_ going to get a live-action version of the _best_ Robin from the Bat series, Jason Todd."

From behind the door, Derek choked. " _What?_ "

Stiles glanced over. "What do you mean, what?" 

Derek poked his head out. "You seriously think Jason Todd was the best Robin in the series?"

"And why the fuck not?" Stiles spread his hands. "He was a great Robin! He was just handled _terribly_ by the writers. Just because he wasn't Dick fucking Grayson, everybody hated—" 

Derek slammed the closet door and—oh _shit_ , he was still just wearing the towel—stalked over to stand right next to Stiles. "Did you ever read _any_ of _The Dark Knight Returns_? Because Carrie Kelley—"

"Carrie Kelley?" Stiles repeated. "Carrie Kelley, you mean the character Miller created pretty much to 'no homo' the Batman and Robin relationship?" 

"No, actually, I mean the first major female Robin and the character Miller created to _emphasize_ the homoerotic relationship between Batman and the Joker," Derek snapped. 

Stiles's jaw dropped, though he wasn't sure if it was because he'd just heard Derek say the word "homoerotic" or because they were having this conversation with Derek's crotch about a foot away from Stiles's head. 

Derek leaned against the desk and crossed his arms, the towel slipping dangerously low as he did. Stiles's mouth went dry, and he snapped his eyes back to Derek's face. Which, you know, really wasn't that much of an improvement. 

"You had so many people insisting that the relationship between Batman and Robin was queer," Derek said. "Miller insisted the stronger relationship was between Batman and the Joker. And you see it in _The Dark Knight Returns_ in a large part _because_ he replaces a male Robin with a female one."

Stiles should snap back. He really, really should. What came out instead was " _You_ read comics? No, wait." He sat up straighter. "You read Batman comics and then argue about whether his relationship with Robin or the Joker is more homoerotic?" 

"I know. It's shocking. I have hobbies," Derek said dryly. 

Holy shit. Derek was into comics. Derek was into _Batman._ This was not making Stiles's crush go away. In fact, he was pretty sure this was the most arousing conversation he'd ever had in his life. _  
_  
"And here I thought your favorite activities were studying and glaring angrily at me." Stiles batted his eyelashes. "Be honest, do you see any homoerotic subtext in the relationship between Batman and Superman? Because I've always felt that Bruce and Clark were one well-timed snark away from a weekend of angry sex."

Derek fucking _smirked_. "I don't think there's anything sub about that text."

And fuck, if Stiles hadn't been positive he was bisexual before now, that sure as shit would've clinched it. "Well now. At least I know what to get you for your birthday. Batman and Superman plushies and an 'I heart Carrie Kelley' coffee mug." 

To Stiles's surprise, Derek's cheeks turned pink under his beard. "She's not my favorite Robin," he admitted. "But she's a great character and she's _criminally_ underappreciated." 

"So then who _is_ your favorite?" Stiles asked. "Stephanie? Damian? Tim? Or are you a fan of Dick?" 

Derek's gaze swept over him, going suddenly hot. "Oh, you have no idea." 

Stiles _gaped_ , hardly able to believe his ears. Had Derek just... _flirted_ with him? Like, actually flirted? 

"Dick's awesome," he agreed, well aware they weren't talking about Grayson. 

"Good to know," Derek said. "Now would that be subtext, or actual text?" 

Cocky bastard. Stiles was in love. "You're such an asshole," he said, but his voice was breathless even to his own ears. 

" _I'm_ an asshole?" Derek's eyebrows shot up. "Look who's talking." 

"Hey, I'll have you know I have being an asshole down to an art form." 

Derek grabbed Stiles by the front of his shirt and hauled him out of his chair. "God, _shut up,_ " he said, and kissed him. 

Wow. _Wow_. Stiles's brain short-circuited with Derek's mouth on his, hot and fierce and demanding, like he was determined to ensure Stiles wasn't able to talk for a long, long time. Which, fair. At this point talking was overrated. _So_ overrated. His mouth was so much better occupied this way. In fact, he really didn't want to do anything with his mouth ever again except kiss Derek Hale. 

Except maybe for blow jobs. 

"Are you still recording?" Derek asked, practically panting into Stiles's mouth.

"Don't worry." Stiles nipped at his lower lip. "I'll edit this part out before I post."

***

Unsurprisingly, the posted video was a huge hit. The viewers _loved_ their argument about the better Robin, and Stiles laughed for ten minutes straight at the number of people commenting on the UST between them. 

"Oh, there's nothing U about this ST," he told Derek later. 

Derek's response was to kiss him. It had become a surprisingly effective at getting Stiles to quit talking. 

For a while, anyway.

***

"When I asked you to wash my car—"

"Demanded," Stiles corrected. " _Demanded_ I wash your car." 

Derek glared at him, but the effect was spoiled somewhat by the fierce blush under his dark stubble. Stubble which had left some very delightful burns on Stiles in some very interesting places. Stiles had decided he _really_ liked stubble. 

"This was not what I had in mind," Derek finished. 

Stiles leaned as far as he could over the Camaro's hood, so as to put his ass on best display. It had taken three hours of scouring the Internet, but he'd finally managed to find a green Speedo with Robin's yellow R emblazoned on the butt. It was totally worth it for the way Derek's eyes kept skating in that direction, and the way his blush kept getting darker. For as forward as he'd been at first, Derek could be surprisingly awkward about it when _Stiles_ was. 

It was fucking adorable and Stiles absolutely did not have an increasingly long list of ways he could take advantage of it. 

He wiggled his ass as he scrubbed at a stubborn spot on the windshield. "Come on, Derek. My milkshake brings _all_ the boys to the yard." 

"Woo, shake it!" someone yelled from across the parking lot. 

Stiles held up his sponge in victory. "Thank you, random citizen!" 

Derek buried his face in his hands. "My God." 

Stiles grinned and started rinsing off the car. "Don't even pretend like you don't love it." 

Derek shook his head, but he looked like he was fighting a smile. "You're ridiculous," he said fondly. 

Stiles just laughed. 

Yeah, having Derek as his roommate wasn't so bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr!](http://mad-madam-m.tumblr.com) [Twitter!](http://twitter.com/mad_madam_m)


End file.
